Being at Winshape is always a rejuvinating experience. As a staffer and as a visitor I have just been able to learn so much in this place. In a day or 2 I’ll write another entry detailing my entire weekend in the Winshape Nation with all my camp friendzies. But for now… just the lesson that’s been taught this week here and there and everywhere.
A few days ago I had a pretty hard day at school and was talking to Will about how relieved I was to be starting a new semester soon. It was really more complaining about “right now” than anything. This negative reply to my current circumstances isn’t something I’m proud of. And I was even kind of embarrassed that I had said it. But it was great in a way because when I heard it come from my mouth, I immediately had to reevaluate. I had to look at my day-to-day life in this time and figure out why I wasn’t getting sad about it coming to an end. Why I was ready to just be done. In a way I think its because I’m just so excited for the fall. I’m excited about my job with Housing. I’m excited about the classes I’ll be taking. I’m excited for my friends to be back in town and not feel as isolated from the world. But I also think it has to do with the fact that completing this semester gets me one step closer to where I really want to be… teaching in my own class. Not student teaching. Not teaching in a class that someone else set up for me. But being on my own. Able to lead as I choose. Its just so exciting and freeing to think about!!
So naturally when I got to camp, I blurted all of this out to Fenn and Abby Rives (that conversation will be given more detail in my recap post for sureeeeeee… so good) and we started talking about how well the Lord plans things for us. Yes, I have a teaching degree and could have started on this journey that I’m so anxious to begin in less than a month. But the plan was different. Grad school isn’t something I want to just breeze through (even though breezing isn’t so much the case… it’s already a challenege), but I want to really take it all in because there is definitely a reason that I need to learn more before I get to that place. It wouldn’t have been handed to me in such a pretty little package if that were the case. Even though I feel so ready, there’s obviously more that I have to experience and grow from in order for me to really be in the best place to receive what I know is for me in the future.
And this goes for so many more things than school.
Life is happening, ya’ll! And I’m so thankful. I think that even in my frustration of doing research and feeling like my life is stuck behind a computer, I am starting to see that even that is going to be used for something bigger. Much bigger than I could probably even think of myself.
So for now, I’ll just live by this: “11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Phillipians 4:11-13